Ever wonder if pride month and all the flags year round are too much? They’re not.
Surely we’re past the need for that. We’re not.
I’m trans, gender-queer (non-binary), and often masc presenting. However people who aren’t familiar with the LGBTQIA+ community may perceive me as a Tomboy. So I’m relatively safe from physical harm in my transness. Not everyone passes for being heteronormative.
I am in Reykjavík, Iceland, which has a well known rainbow street that points the way to a beautiful church. Many shops fly various pride flags. My heart smiles when I see these, because I feel safe and welcome in these places.
This morning starts the same as the past five days; cloudy, gray, and bursts of a little drizzle to heavy rain depending on the clouds’ mood. I am on my way to a park to do my calisthenics workout and I decide to stop in the children’s park to jump on the trampoline, because who am I to deny myself the childlike joy of bouncing around for no reason other than it’s fun? I put my bag down on a bench when I see graffiti in big bright red letters.
fuck trans
fuck gays
fuck non-binaries
My heart sinks. I don’t feel unsafe because I knew I pass as a Tomboy, but I do feel profoundly sad. Here I am, in a gorgeous park, meant for children, meant for everyone. With a cruel reminder that not everyone thinks we belong. I feel the familiar sting in my nose as tears well up in my eyes, remembering the people who deny my existence, who refuse to learn my pronouns, who hate me and people like me for no reason other than we are different.
When I look closely, the graffiti itself had been graffitied in black sharpie to sublty say “fuck trans phobes“ and “fuck gay haters” which makes me laugh a little but also brings on a certain melancholy; I don’t want hate to be met with more hate.
If people can hate for no reason, I can love for no reason.
And in that moment, for the first time in days, the sun breaks through the clouds and I feel her warm caress on my face. Reminding me, “You do belong. The universe doesn’t care about your identity or who you love. Just… Love…” And so, I jump on that trampoline. I ride the zipline. I climb the rope jungle gym. With a smile. Giggling incessantly. Because I can. I do belong. I can love myself and create my own joy.
But it isn’t always safe for LGBTQIA+ folks. And joy and love is greater when shared with community. This is why we still fly pride flags, use pronoun pins, and have pride parades. To remind folks both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community that we are here, we always have been, we are wanted, we are loved, and we belong.